THE END

Funny way to start a blog, eh? Especially a new one.

But it is the end.

The end of the Amy’s anyway – well for the time being.

You see a new chapter starts on September 22nd.

We will close the door on Top Floor Flat, BS8 and pack our cars (which will be parked 3.2 miles away due to the ridiculous car parking situation in Clifton) and say a sad farewell.

Nelmsey will drive off down the path paved with gold. I however will just be heading down the dusty track that is the M32 to Horfield to a lovely new flat which I shall be living in ALL BY MYSELF.

Yep that’s right. Alone. I can do that now you know. I am almost a grown up….

Obviously I am excited about this new chapter but gutted about closing the last one.

It was bloody fun you see.

On Friday 31st August 2007 I bid a tearful goodbye to Mummy Rowland and set off South West bound (not just outside London like I had originally thought.)

Pulling up in Clifton the butterflies flew round in my tummy with excitement at my new home. The excitement rapidly left me when it took me 43 minutes to park. ‘I forgot to tell you that parking is a bit of a nightmare,’ Nelmsey said sheepishly as I screamed down the phone. But hey, let’s not concentrate on the negatives, eh?

After Dominos pizza and champers we dolled ourselves up to introduce the Amy’s to Bristol. It was a South West News leaving do and I was about to meet the features for the first time. ‘Amy. Like Amy Winehouse?’ an already drunk Nicola Skinner said after I introduced myself. ‘Er, yeah,’ I replied realising the reason everyone was so drunk already was because there was a free bar.

But I was being careful. My new bosses were there after all. Nelmsey was certainly taking advantage. ‘Having a good time?’ she asked with glazed eyes. She was a goner.

A few hours later, and after a couple of very expensive cocktails, I decided to call it a night ignoring the chants of ‘come to the club’ from Nelmes. I just wanted to go back to my new flat and go to sleep in my new room under my new duvet falling asleep as soon as my head hit my new pillow case. Lush.

Just a few hours later – but what felt like ten minutes – I was woken from my slumber by raucous laughing (Nelmes) and deep voices (not Nelmes.) She was back from the club and obviously not alone…

‘So where is other Amy,’ a particularly deep voice asked. I groaned as a male figure appeared in my doorway. ‘I’m here on the promise of buy one Amy, get one free,’ he said. What a line.

Suddenly Amy burst through – crumpet in mouth and what seemed like a blue rinse on her hair. ‘Have you been to the hairdressers?’ I asked as she slurred her words and climbed into my bed beside me – falling promptly asleep. ‘Maybe we should go,’ the two men said nervously. I just gave them the Rowland stare as they backed out of the door.

Dragging Amy into her own bed I snuggled back under my new (dusky pink if you are wondering) duvet and tried to get back to sleep. Day one was eventful and over – whatever next?

So as Nelmsey went into work the following morning late and hungover she vowed never to drink again. Especially as she had just discovered her pen had leaked in her bag the night before and was the reason she looked like she had had a blue rinse. And ink stains all over her face… ‘You look like you’ve slept in a gutter,’ her boss said. Yep, no more drinking for Nelmes – until the next night anyway….

If I told all the adventures that the Amy’s had experienced then this blog would be a book, which is certainly an idea, but for now I’ll keep it short.

It has been a great 13 months. Good times, bad times, sad times, angry times. Fun holidays to Ibiza and dodgy drunken nights in the Lizard lounge. Post – session depression from Thekla and broken flip-flops in the The Cori Tap.

We soon became more than just flat mates but actually like a married couple – we eat dinner together each evening and sleep in separate beds, just like most marriages. And there is a lot of love going down.

We argued about why Santa was red and made the could have been fatal mistake of talking about what annoyed us most about each other. ‘You never empty the bin,’ she said. ‘Well you never take it downstairs to put it in the wheelie bin,’ I replied. No grudges here though.

So I am not really looking forward to us parting. I feel like our relationship is coming to an end – I don’t do long distance you see. ‘You’re emotionally detaching yourself already,’ Nelmes says sadly after another tantrum of mine which have come about more and more recently. She is probably right – I don’t ‘do’ emotion well.

But I do know one thing – I bloody love her and am going to miss her like I would miss my Take That CD’s. Invaluable.

But it will be fine. We’ll live the dream again together soon.

YOU ARE.

This blog entry is dedicated to Nelmes and Ms Kim Willis – for making me realise instead of moaning about not making an appearance in her blog just start my own….